dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
