I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
