It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
