A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
