guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
