just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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