How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
