We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
