Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
