dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
grandma shit on top of the toilet
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
