i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i love accidental penises.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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