You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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