wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
