There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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