I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
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What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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