I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
