you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
