and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
