I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
