take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guyβs dick pic in bed
Randomize