like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
