filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
