Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
