He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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