from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just high enough for therapy.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
