he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
