Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
