She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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