I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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