i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
