I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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