ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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