Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
