I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
