p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
