man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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