Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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