you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
