I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
