Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
