david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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