What did we do last night that was yellow?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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