You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
