Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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