Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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