you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
