After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
