I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
