her vagine was all disorganized.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
