somebody snuck up and got me drunk
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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