Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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