What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
