We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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