Do you still have your period?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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