He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
