:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
