May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
