She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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