If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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