i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
