she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I stole a fireplace last night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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