What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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