My friends, they love my intelligence
P.S. I can't hear my feet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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