Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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