We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I party with great urgency now.
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