She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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