Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
